The Creative Call: On Forgiveness, Part 2 (Encouragers)

Part of letting go of the discouragement caused by others is to embrace the sources of our encouragement. Chapter 4 moves on to a discussion of how to recognize and value those individuals, or "heroes" as Elsheimer calls them. So, in response to an exercise in this chapter, I am listing some (not all) of those individuals who have been "encouraging voices" to me.

• Mrs. F., my 11th grade high school composition teacher, who was the first teacher who ever let us write on any topic we wanted. Yes, she taught us proper essay structures so we could write passable college papers, and she had readers who assisted her is correcting spelling and grammar, but aside from that, she was truly excited to read our essays. It was my first experience writing for a "responsive audience."
• My friend C.D. who gave me a t-shirt with the words emblazoned across my chest: "Be nice to me or you'll be a character in my next novel." With that simple gift, she affirmed my identity as a writer.
• Several of my closest relatives and friends who made space in their home for me to paint or who always have supportive things to say about my artwork.
• Mrs. W. from church who has tells me frequently "You are so talented!"
• Dr. T, one of my undergraduate history professors, who kicked my writing-butt during my senior year. He was not a cheerleader like the others, yet, I ended up with an A research paper for that course that later became the basis for my master's thesis.
• And then there is Heather and all the good folks at the Soul Food Cafe where, for over five years, we worked together to nourish each others' creative souls. Several of these people continue to be supportive as Facebook Friends.

If you will recall, a couple of posts ago, I stated that I would like some sort of creative mentor to help me in my growth as a writer and artist. Quite synchronicitously, I received an answer to that request. Last night I was watching a video-- totally unrelated to anything we are discussing here -- and the main speaker in this video presentation made the comment: "Mentors don't need to be living people." This line wafted straight out of the screen and hung in the middle of the ether in front of me with a giant pulsing neon finger pointing to it with my name attached. Don't you love it when you receive communications like that? I do.

So, who are some of these non-living people who have "mentored" me through their writing and art?

Charlotte Bronte
Hildegard von Bingen
Mary Cassatt
Madeleine L'Engle
Georgia O'Keefe
Frida Kahlo
Anne McCaffrey
Marion Zimmer Bradley

I am indebted to all of you!

The Creative Call: On Forgiveness

I am quickly moving on to Chapter 4 now on the topic of forgiveness. I could stay in chapter 3 longer as there are a number of exercises that I could do, but the chapter has left me in such a negative frame of mind, I need to get out of there, pronto. Instead, I think I am going move right into chapter 4 and write on it for of several days since I believe that a thorough understanding of this area is going to be vital in my recovery as a creative. It is not going to be easy for me to simply say, "yeah, some of you in my life are been pretty discouraging, but that's okay, I forgive you." No, I am going to have to carefully explore the nature of forgiveness in order to implement it.

The first thing Elsheimer addresses in this chapter is the exact definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that the hurt we received was not really all that bad or that the person who did it may not have meant it. Forgiveness is realizing that no matter the reason or circumstances the fact is that others hurt us and that we need to let it go. Elsheimer writes this: "[Forgiveness] is the willingness to move past the offense and to refuse to entertain further thoughts about it. Forgiveness is not just something we grant another person. It is a gift we give ourselves." (Kindle Loc. 914).

So to the individuals who made the statements and actions I cited in the last post, I am letting those go and I am going to strive not to dwell on them any more. You are free, as am I.

Now, I don't harbor any illusions that I won't go back to those hurts. Forgiveness, for me, is going to be a process. I need to forgive, forgive, and forgive again. That may be the reason that in the Lord's Prayer his instruction to "forgive those who trespass against us" is coupled with the request to "give us this day our daily bread." Forgiveness is something we must grant on a daily basis.

Part of the process of forgiveness is to offer positive affirmation to ourselves (and others) when they hit us with negative thoughts. This is an exercise offered in this chapter. The directive is to provide an 'uppity" comeback for a number of discouraging remarks. Here's how I answered the remarks in the exercise (Kindle Loc. 960):

"Downer statement: 'Nobody will take your art seriously.'"
My answer: God and I both take my creative work seriously.

"Downer statement: 'You'll never make a living at your art.;"
My answer: Then I will pay my bills doing something else, but I am still going to make art and write whether I enjoy financial gain or not.

"Downer statement: 'You don't have enough talent to write or be an artist.'"
My answer: Says who? You? You did not create me; therefore, you have no say so about the amount or level of my talent.

So, that's a start. There are several other exercises in this chapter that I will complete in the upcoming days. If appropriate, I'll post them here.

My thanks to those who are following along with this.

The Creative Call: Listening

I have been working through the second chapter of The Creative Call. At the heart of this chapter is the theme of learning to listen to the Spirit and the assurance that the Spirit listens to us. One way, according to the author, that we may listen to God is through the reading of the scriptures and, conversely, the primary way God listens to us is through prayer. The main thing I learned from this chapter is that it is not only right, but essential to ask God how He wants us to exercise our creative gifts and to ask for the means by which to do that. I need to learn to listen for the answers.

The main thrust of this chapter is the emphasis on daily journalling. This is how we as creatives can actually dialogue with the God. The issues that cause our creative blocks can be dealt with in the pages of our journals, and insights and ideas for our creative work can come through the pages of our journals as well. Our prayers can be written if we so choose and the responses may come through our own writing. It is imperative, the author asserts, to journal at least twenty minutes every day, first thing in the morning if possible.

I don't want to go too much into prayer and journalling here. The author covers all of this very well in the chapter. I want to share today my own observations about communicating with the Spirit in a way that diverges a bit from what the author presents. I think another way that the Spirit communicates with us is through dreams. Every time I start one of these creativity programs, I start having bizarre dreams. This time is no different.

I recall two powerful dreams this week. I'm not going to share too many details about my dreams. I am sure the symbolic language in the dreams would have meaning only to me anyway. Let me just say that the messages that came to me in both of these dreams is this: I spend more time taking care of others than taking care of my own well-being, and that I feel excluded from the mainstream creative community. However, that being said, I am still being taught many things by the Spirit that I would not be able to learn from anyone or anywhere else.

There is one thing I do want to share in hopes that someone can give me some insight. In one of the dreams there was a white dog that looked like a husky or a malamut or some sort of Alaskan/Siberian breed. An elderly Asian man in the dream said that the dog's name was "Tzi-Chi" and that it was important that I learn how to pronounce the dog's name. Does anyone have any idea what the words "tzi-chi" may mean? It sounds Mandarin to me. I googled the term but nothing came up. A similar word, "Zi", comes up with the meaning "beautiful" and I know "chi" means "life force." Does this mean that I have a "beautiful life force?" Or that I don't have it and I have to strive towards that? Any insight would be helpful.

So I am trying to listen in all the ways the book's author suggest plus one of my own. I think, though, I need some help in interpreting what I hear.

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This chapter's key scripture verse is: "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." Psalm 5:3. And here is my visual response:

"Psalm Five:Three"
Photo Manipulation

ljgloyd (c) 2012

The Creative Call: Beginnings

I’ve been journaling my fingers off since last Wednesday in response to the first chapter of The Creative Call. There’s a lot of stuff already emerging having to do with blockages, annoying people, and inner critics – the same stuff that always seems to come up when I do a program like this. The difference, though, is that through it all the voice of the author comes through time and time again in this chapter: You are a creative person because God made you that way. And He made you that way so you can be a part of His continuing creation of the world.

One of the exercises in chapter one was to write my own definition of "artist" by completing this statement “I think an artist is….”

Here is my definition: I think an artist is a conduit of God’s grace through whom God exercises his role as Creator. God does not need us in order for Him to be the Creator, but He desires to share that role with us and the blessings that come from it.

Creative people are compelled to make art, make music, write, act, cook, garden, build furniture, design websites, fix computers, et cetera because they are wired to do so. Since we were crafted that way, then it is obvious that to not develop our talents and exercise them is, at best, not living up to our potential, and at worst – to use “churchy” vocabulary – living outside the will of God.

So this chapter offers an amazing affirmation to all creatives. With this, you would think we could just close the book and get on with our work.

No.

The chapter goes on to ask pointed questions about the obstacles to creativity. For me, namely, it’s other people and my own self. Okay, it’s mostly my own self, but I can go on and on about both me and them.

The author, however, is quick to point out that even though the Critics in our lives may be a hindrance, we will learn in future chapters how to stop blaming them and begin forgiving.

Forgiveness? Oy! I think I need to buy a lot more paper to journal on.

This first chapter opened with some verses from the Gospel of John: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made. Without Him nothing was made that has been made (John 1:1-3). This seems an appropriate verse in a discussion about the creative action of God and artists, so in response to this passage, I felt compelled to make this image:

"John One:One-Three" (Digital Painting)

ljgloyd (c) 2012

A Practice for Lent: The Creative Call

Today is the first day of Lent. I was casting about for something to do (or not to do) appropriate for the season. Since this period is supposed to be a time for self-reflection, I decided I would wed this season with my working through The Creative Call program.

The Creative Call: An Artist's Response to the Way of the Spirit is a book written by Joyce Elsheimer as an alternative to Cameron's The Artist's Way (TAW). TAW is a fantastic program, and I have employed it on several occassions to break through creative blocks and get my creating self moving again. However, the "source" or "higher self" referenced in TAW is ambiguous at best. The Creative Call is for those artists, writers, muscians, and other creatives who have a more focused view of that divine source for the creativity -- that is, God.

The Creative Call (CC) is less rigorous than TAW calling for a commitment of only eight weeks as well as only 20 minutes of journaling each morning. In addition, CC emphasizes prayer and scripture reading/memorization as part of the program of breaking through the hindrances to creative output. CC's main assertion, at least for me, is that God gives us our talents and urges us to develop and exercise them for His glory and our personal fulfillment in life. Given this, I thought working this program might be the perfect activity for Lent. The program most likely will flow past Easter, but somehow that seems right too.

My plan then is to read one chapter a week, do the prescribed exercises, and journal every day. At least once a week -- maybe more, maybe less -- I will write a short reflection piece here.

So, if you don't like hearing about God or Jesus, or are uncomfortable with scriptural quotations, then I understand completely if you don't want to follow along with these posts. However, part of my "recovery" as a creative person is not to hide from what I am and what I believe, and I will be writing about these things. I do hope you will come back and read and maybe even follow along.

Thank you.

The Gate Keeper, Ash Wednesday, 2012

ljgloyd