I am quickly moving on to Chapter 4 now on the topic of forgiveness. I could stay in chapter 3 longer as there are a number of exercises that I could do, but the chapter has left me in such a negative frame of mind, I need to get out of there, pronto. Instead, I think I am going move right into chapter 4 and write on it for of several days since I believe that a thorough understanding of this area is going to be vital in my recovery as a creative. It is not going to be easy for me to simply say, "yeah, some of you in my life are been pretty discouraging, but that's okay, I forgive you." No, I am going to have to carefully explore the nature of forgiveness in order to implement it.
The first thing Elsheimer addresses in this chapter is the exact definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that the hurt we received was not really all that bad or that the person who did it may not have meant it. Forgiveness is realizing that no matter the reason or circumstances the fact is that others hurt us and that we need to let it go. Elsheimer writes this: "[Forgiveness] is the willingness to move past the offense and to refuse to entertain further thoughts about it. Forgiveness is not just something we grant another person. It is a gift we give ourselves." (Kindle Loc. 914).
So to the individuals who made the statements and actions I cited in the last post, I am letting those go and I am going to strive not to dwell on them any more. You are free, as am I.
Now, I don't harbor any illusions that I won't go back to those hurts. Forgiveness, for me, is going to be a process. I need to forgive, forgive, and forgive again. That may be the reason that in the Lord's Prayer his instruction to "forgive those who trespass against us" is coupled with the request to "give us this day our daily bread." Forgiveness is something we must grant on a daily basis.
Part of the process of forgiveness is to offer positive affirmation to ourselves (and others) when they hit us with negative thoughts. This is an exercise offered in this chapter. The directive is to provide an 'uppity" comeback for a number of discouraging remarks. Here's how I answered the remarks in the exercise (Kindle Loc. 960):
"Downer statement: 'Nobody will take your art seriously.'"
My answer: God and I both take my creative work seriously.
"Downer statement: 'You'll never make a living at your art.;"
My answer: Then I will pay my bills doing something else, but I am still going to make art and write whether I enjoy financial gain or not.
"Downer statement: 'You don't have enough talent to write or be an artist.'"
My answer: Says who? You? You did not create me; therefore, you have no say so about the amount or level of my talent.
So, that's a start. There are several other exercises in this chapter that I will complete in the upcoming days. If appropriate, I'll post them here.
My thanks to those who are following along with this.
I like the responses you have come up with. And that forgiveness thing, it's really, really hard, especially when the offense is as personal as those about the ability to create. I just read the chapter in The Artist's Way (I'm going a bit slowly) about shame, and I can see the relation to that, your previous chapter and your current chapter.
ReplyDeleteLori, thank you so much for sharing this journey. The more I read about what you are doing, the more I think that I will need to try this, perhaps this summer, after I finish what I am currently doing. For me at least, I don't think that any of this can be a one-time-and-done process. I think it will need to be ongoing.
Jane, you are absolutely right about it not being a one-time only process. I have done TAW several times plus this current program. I think working these programs should be a daily practice in addition to our regular creative work. One you finish it, you start again. I liken it to a spiritual practice: you have your daily prayer or meditation or going to mass or whatever THEN you go out and live your life fueled by that daily routine.
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