Photo Manipulations: "Sleeping Dryad" and "Fire Sprite"

Manipulation of Original Photography ljgloyd (c) 2012

All The World's a Stage

I went to one great big costume party yesterday.  Huzzah!

The Creative Call: The End

I have come to the end of the book and this personal Lenten practice. The last chapter is on simplifying one's life; that is, what is one willing to give up personally, materially, and financially to achieve the goal of being a writer or artist. What would I give up? Honestly: nothing at the moment.

This program has not brought me to the place I thought it would take me. I thought I would have my life suddenly break open and I would find myself on a truly productive creative path. In truth, I have not been writing every day. Sometimes I would pick up the pen and write just a sentence before giving up. The emotions on my heart were too heavy and bleak to commit to the harsh intensity of plain paper. Also, I managed to complete only one painting before realizing that my work is unsophisticated, naive, childish and most definitely "not good enough". (Didn't we cover that in chapter 3?).

I thought at the end of this program I would have engaged some more readers with my blog content. How arrogant of me. By attempting to be my own authentic self through my art and writing, I managed to scare off nearly all of my readers (according to my blog stats). The result is that I am now too embarrassed to announce any new postings. The only reason I am continuing to post at all is that I don't want the added humiliation of knowing that I did not complete something I started. I do have a shred of self-respect left.

As I dealt with the emotional crap churned up by the journaling, I managed to irk some of my real-life associates by saying things that needed to be said. This has made me realize I need to re-evaluate some of my relationships both on-line and off-line. If I cannot be truthful and authentic without pissing off people, then what is the authenticity of some of these relationships in the first place? Maybe "simplifying" my life means to eliminate some people and learn to be content with having fewer people in it.

I spent a lot of money on this endeavor. I bought a membership in an online artist association as well as acquiring several books on writing by favorite writers. The jury is still out as to whether any of these will prove to be useful.

Am I saying that this program was a failure? No. On the contrary, I believe I am right where I am supposed to be. The purpose of this as a Lenten practice was to dredge up the toxic crud that has settled in the bottom of my soul so it could be siphoned off and the waters begin to clear. I was foolish and naive to think that years of pain and disappointment would vanish in forty days. It may take the rest of my life for that fountain of pure water to spring up within me.

So where do I go from here? I will keep writing. I will keep arting. I keep ridding myself of all the emotional and spiritual toxicity that has silted up in me.

Easter is a few days away. Maybe I will catch the fire of the day and experience a resurrection of my own.

I can only hope and pray.

ljgloyd
Maundy Thursday, 2012


Image: Lotus in the mud from Morguefile.com

The Creative Call: Time Out for Me

The next chapter is on time management. It is pretty straightforward, and I have nothing to say other than I do waste a lot of time when I should be arting and writing.

I finished a painting earlier this week (see previous post), and then I ran out of steam. Furthermore, I haven't been journaling at all this week. I tried to do what the author encourages -- to sit down and write even when you don't have anything to say. I did that last night and wrote about a paragraph and then doodled on the page. I guess doodling is good. I recall reading somewhere that doodling is the mind working things out right before some wonderful creation is manifested. Let's hope. I would hate to think that this program was for nothing.

So let this blog post serve as my journaling practice for today. My hope is to read the final chapter of the book this week and finish it before Easter. That was my original goal, to read the book for Lent, and I think I might just accomplish that.

Painting: Sophia

Detail: "Sophia"

Mixed Media Painting, 18" x 24"

This is a detail from the first painting I have completed in quite sometimes (years, I think). This was done using Caran d'ache watercolor crayons, water soluble oil pastels, acrylic paints, watercolor pencils, gessos and ink pens. I used no model for the woman, just various photographic references.

ljgloyd (c) 2012

The Creative Call: Being Servants

Chapter 6 deals with the "meat and potatoes" of the creative's life. It is about productivity. The advice given there is not new: silence the critic, stop procrastinating, get over being afraid of failure (or success), create an environment conducive to your work. However, what is different here is the notion of being a "servant of the work". As servants of the work we need to get off our duffs and get to work, even if this means that we must schedule an appointment with ourselves to do so. The author points out that the Spirit requires us bring into existence the inspiration given to us. Even if we don't feel like working, or don't feel as if we have an idea to bring to life, we need to sit down and write or make art or whatever. Get working and everything will fall into place. We need to make our creative practice a top priority instead of something we do when we finish other things.

I found this to be true for myself this week. A number days ago I had the vaguest suggestion of an idea. I put it off for a few days until I forced myself to pull out a large piece of paper and prime it. The primed paper then sat on my studio table for several more days. Yesterday, I decided I needed to schedule the time to start the painting. I made the appointment for 8:00 last night. It is at the end of the day not because I did not think it was important. It is at the end of the day so I could start working and not have to stop myself to do something else. I could go as long as I needed.

I started with this sketch:



And then blocked out the major color areas. I worked for about two hours until I came to a convenient stopping place.



The image is now sitting up on my studio table. I have scheduled this evening again, at 8:00 to continue laying on the color and start on the detail work. I'll post the finished painting when I feel I have reached the end.


ljgloyd (c) 2010

Sapientia

"Sapientia, or Wisdom"

Photo manipulation

ljgloyd (c) 2012

Photo courtesy of Morguefile.com

The Creative Call: Inspiration

Getting inspired to create artistic products is the theme of chapter 5. The chapter explores the source of inspiration -- the Holy Spirit-- and how to access that inspiration: through giving up ourselves as the source of our own inspiration and relying upon the Spirit, through prayer, to achieve it. Sometime our creative blocks come from our trying too hard. Sometimes we just have to be patient and wait. And if we are open to what the Spirit has to offer, it will come.

Waiting for inspiration does not mean we sit around and take no action. We need to be attentive to the world and people around us. The Spirit will work through our experiences to bring us ideas and motivate us to act upon them. We need to do our "breathing exercises" as Elsheimer urges. We need to spend time out and about on a regular basis to "prime the pump." This would include not only getting out and experiencing the world, but also studying what other creatives have done that we would like to emulate. If you paint, study the great masters. If you write, study your favorite writer.

Also, we need to start thinking of ourselves as writers or artists or chefs or bellydancers... whatever mode our creative expression takes. When we do this, our eyes will open and we will start stumbling across the ideas the Spirit tosses in front of us.

Finally, the author makes the practical suggestion of carrying around a notebook or sketchbook to capture those observations or ideas as they occur or record those inspirational dreams that may wake us up. I leave you with this example: I have been thinking about one of my creative mentors, Hildegard von Bingen, a medieval woman who was an artist, theologian, musical composer, medicinal healer, and adviser to many powerful people in her world. I thought of a painting I might do of her and I put down this quick thumbnail to capture what flashed in my mind's eye. I may not act on this, but at least the seed of the idea is down on paper and on the way to fruition.

The Creative Call: On Forgiveness, Part 2 (Encouragers)

Part of letting go of the discouragement caused by others is to embrace the sources of our encouragement. Chapter 4 moves on to a discussion of how to recognize and value those individuals, or "heroes" as Elsheimer calls them. So, in response to an exercise in this chapter, I am listing some (not all) of those individuals who have been "encouraging voices" to me.

• Mrs. F., my 11th grade high school composition teacher, who was the first teacher who ever let us write on any topic we wanted. Yes, she taught us proper essay structures so we could write passable college papers, and she had readers who assisted her is correcting spelling and grammar, but aside from that, she was truly excited to read our essays. It was my first experience writing for a "responsive audience."
• My friend C.D. who gave me a t-shirt with the words emblazoned across my chest: "Be nice to me or you'll be a character in my next novel." With that simple gift, she affirmed my identity as a writer.
• Several of my closest relatives and friends who made space in their home for me to paint or who always have supportive things to say about my artwork.
• Mrs. W. from church who has tells me frequently "You are so talented!"
• Dr. T, one of my undergraduate history professors, who kicked my writing-butt during my senior year. He was not a cheerleader like the others, yet, I ended up with an A research paper for that course that later became the basis for my master's thesis.
• And then there is Heather and all the good folks at the Soul Food Cafe where, for over five years, we worked together to nourish each others' creative souls. Several of these people continue to be supportive as Facebook Friends.

If you will recall, a couple of posts ago, I stated that I would like some sort of creative mentor to help me in my growth as a writer and artist. Quite synchronicitously, I received an answer to that request. Last night I was watching a video-- totally unrelated to anything we are discussing here -- and the main speaker in this video presentation made the comment: "Mentors don't need to be living people." This line wafted straight out of the screen and hung in the middle of the ether in front of me with a giant pulsing neon finger pointing to it with my name attached. Don't you love it when you receive communications like that? I do.

So, who are some of these non-living people who have "mentored" me through their writing and art?

Charlotte Bronte
Hildegard von Bingen
Mary Cassatt
Madeleine L'Engle
Georgia O'Keefe
Frida Kahlo
Anne McCaffrey
Marion Zimmer Bradley

I am indebted to all of you!

The Creative Call: On Forgiveness

I am quickly moving on to Chapter 4 now on the topic of forgiveness. I could stay in chapter 3 longer as there are a number of exercises that I could do, but the chapter has left me in such a negative frame of mind, I need to get out of there, pronto. Instead, I think I am going move right into chapter 4 and write on it for of several days since I believe that a thorough understanding of this area is going to be vital in my recovery as a creative. It is not going to be easy for me to simply say, "yeah, some of you in my life are been pretty discouraging, but that's okay, I forgive you." No, I am going to have to carefully explore the nature of forgiveness in order to implement it.

The first thing Elsheimer addresses in this chapter is the exact definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that the hurt we received was not really all that bad or that the person who did it may not have meant it. Forgiveness is realizing that no matter the reason or circumstances the fact is that others hurt us and that we need to let it go. Elsheimer writes this: "[Forgiveness] is the willingness to move past the offense and to refuse to entertain further thoughts about it. Forgiveness is not just something we grant another person. It is a gift we give ourselves." (Kindle Loc. 914).

So to the individuals who made the statements and actions I cited in the last post, I am letting those go and I am going to strive not to dwell on them any more. You are free, as am I.

Now, I don't harbor any illusions that I won't go back to those hurts. Forgiveness, for me, is going to be a process. I need to forgive, forgive, and forgive again. That may be the reason that in the Lord's Prayer his instruction to "forgive those who trespass against us" is coupled with the request to "give us this day our daily bread." Forgiveness is something we must grant on a daily basis.

Part of the process of forgiveness is to offer positive affirmation to ourselves (and others) when they hit us with negative thoughts. This is an exercise offered in this chapter. The directive is to provide an 'uppity" comeback for a number of discouraging remarks. Here's how I answered the remarks in the exercise (Kindle Loc. 960):

"Downer statement: 'Nobody will take your art seriously.'"
My answer: God and I both take my creative work seriously.

"Downer statement: 'You'll never make a living at your art.;"
My answer: Then I will pay my bills doing something else, but I am still going to make art and write whether I enjoy financial gain or not.

"Downer statement: 'You don't have enough talent to write or be an artist.'"
My answer: Says who? You? You did not create me; therefore, you have no say so about the amount or level of my talent.

So, that's a start. There are several other exercises in this chapter that I will complete in the upcoming days. If appropriate, I'll post them here.

My thanks to those who are following along with this.

The Creative Call: Awakening

It has been difficult for me to write about chapter 3 in The Creative Call since it has forced me to confront some unpleasant emotions.

There is a lot going on in this chapter. For me the main focus is that we must awaken, or re-awaken, the talents given to us as creatives, and according to the author, to do this we need to overcome the fear of being “good enough”. Elsheimer is right on the money when she writes “...it is not our place to decide for ourselves whether we are ‘good enough’ to glorify God with our talents” (Kindle loc. 718), and that it is false humility when we “assume that we know best what to do with our gifts: to bury them and avoid public humiliation.” (Kindle loc. 720).

That attitude pretty much describes me. However, not only do I ask “am I good enough?”, I also find myself asking “do they like my work?” Take for example, this series. A couple of weeks ago I was jazzed to start this program, and I was seemingly fearless about putting on display a very private part of my life: my spirituality. The first couple of posts got the usual number of hits. Yet for the last post, only two people visited. To be fair, it could be that I announced the last post on a Friday and maybe by the time my online readers came back from the weekend, my announcement was buried and they never saw it.

Or, maybe my readers are busy and my posts are too long.

Or, it could be the writing and art in this series have made some of my readers uncomfortable because this writing and art are so unlike what I usually create. Maybe they don’t like what I have to say.

For the sake of argument, let’s say it is the latter reason. Then you might say, “these are social-networking friends most of whom you have never met in your life. They just don’t know you and your creative work very well. I bet your non-virtual friends like your work and are supportive of you, yes?”

Uh, well, no, most are not. Here’s some things real-life friends have expressed total disinterest in my work or have even said that my work is strange. I appreciate their honesty, but I would expect a little more tact and kindness from my friends. These are the sort of remarks I expect to receive from anonymous strangers. The worst, though, is the complete and utter silence from some of my friends when I do share myself. Silence can be the harshest form of criticism.

I am not writing this because I am fishing for compliments. No! Don’t write anything supportive if you don’t mean it. The reason I am saying this is so I can make myself even more vulnerable. I know that sounds strange and masochistic, but only by making myself completely vulnerable can I overcome the fears and insecurities that come from my wanting my work to “be liked”.

Elsheimer, though, provides some of the best advice I have ever encountered. “It is not for us to question how God will use our gifts....What is important is that we accept the talents God gave us, develop them, honor them, use them, and not bury them.” (Kindle loc. 751-753).”

I have awakened to the fact that I must get over needing affirmation from others. My job is only to do the creative work and to get myself out of the way. It doesn’t matter what others think or say or don’t say. It does not matter how many hits I get or how big an audience I have. I just need to get the work done. Because I am fulfilling the tasks assigned to me, then all I need to do is trust that everything required for me to accomplish my creative tasks will be provided.

One of the exercises in this chapter is to complete this directive: “Make a list of what you need to begin practicing your art.” Here are the things I ask for:

• Focus and discipline to write or make meaningful art on a regular basis
• Ideas to write and art about
• And most importantly: a true creative mentor, in real life, who totally understands where I am coming from as a creative and who can selflessly and without ulterior motive give me the guidance and support that I need.

And then I must trust that God will provide.
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"Ripped Open", a digital construction.

All who are skilled among you are to come and make everything the LORD has commanded. Exodus 35:10

This is the scripture verse that prefaces chapter 3. This command was part of a list of directives that Moses gave the Israelites in order for them to build the tabernacle in the desert. This verse affirms that God gives us creative tasks to do and the talents to achieve them. This week, I have been feeling a lot of resentment and discouragement because I have been craving and not receiving my ego-boosting needs. My original plan was to create an image demonstrating the weaving of the tabernacle curtains (Exodus 26); however, I was dealing with so much emotional stuff this week, the image turned into dark and somber fabric, representing my feelings, being torn open to reveal divine light.

ljgloyd © 2012

The Creative Call: Listening

I have been working through the second chapter of The Creative Call. At the heart of this chapter is the theme of learning to listen to the Spirit and the assurance that the Spirit listens to us. One way, according to the author, that we may listen to God is through the reading of the scriptures and, conversely, the primary way God listens to us is through prayer. The main thing I learned from this chapter is that it is not only right, but essential to ask God how He wants us to exercise our creative gifts and to ask for the means by which to do that. I need to learn to listen for the answers.

The main thrust of this chapter is the emphasis on daily journalling. This is how we as creatives can actually dialogue with the God. The issues that cause our creative blocks can be dealt with in the pages of our journals, and insights and ideas for our creative work can come through the pages of our journals as well. Our prayers can be written if we so choose and the responses may come through our own writing. It is imperative, the author asserts, to journal at least twenty minutes every day, first thing in the morning if possible.

I don't want to go too much into prayer and journalling here. The author covers all of this very well in the chapter. I want to share today my own observations about communicating with the Spirit in a way that diverges a bit from what the author presents. I think another way that the Spirit communicates with us is through dreams. Every time I start one of these creativity programs, I start having bizarre dreams. This time is no different.

I recall two powerful dreams this week. I'm not going to share too many details about my dreams. I am sure the symbolic language in the dreams would have meaning only to me anyway. Let me just say that the messages that came to me in both of these dreams is this: I spend more time taking care of others than taking care of my own well-being, and that I feel excluded from the mainstream creative community. However, that being said, I am still being taught many things by the Spirit that I would not be able to learn from anyone or anywhere else.

There is one thing I do want to share in hopes that someone can give me some insight. In one of the dreams there was a white dog that looked like a husky or a malamut or some sort of Alaskan/Siberian breed. An elderly Asian man in the dream said that the dog's name was "Tzi-Chi" and that it was important that I learn how to pronounce the dog's name. Does anyone have any idea what the words "tzi-chi" may mean? It sounds Mandarin to me. I googled the term but nothing came up. A similar word, "Zi", comes up with the meaning "beautiful" and I know "chi" means "life force." Does this mean that I have a "beautiful life force?" Or that I don't have it and I have to strive towards that? Any insight would be helpful.

So I am trying to listen in all the ways the book's author suggest plus one of my own. I think, though, I need some help in interpreting what I hear.

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This chapter's key scripture verse is: "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." Psalm 5:3. And here is my visual response:

"Psalm Five:Three"
Photo Manipulation

ljgloyd (c) 2012

The Creative Call: Beginnings

I’ve been journaling my fingers off since last Wednesday in response to the first chapter of The Creative Call. There’s a lot of stuff already emerging having to do with blockages, annoying people, and inner critics – the same stuff that always seems to come up when I do a program like this. The difference, though, is that through it all the voice of the author comes through time and time again in this chapter: You are a creative person because God made you that way. And He made you that way so you can be a part of His continuing creation of the world.

One of the exercises in chapter one was to write my own definition of "artist" by completing this statement “I think an artist is….”

Here is my definition: I think an artist is a conduit of God’s grace through whom God exercises his role as Creator. God does not need us in order for Him to be the Creator, but He desires to share that role with us and the blessings that come from it.

Creative people are compelled to make art, make music, write, act, cook, garden, build furniture, design websites, fix computers, et cetera because they are wired to do so. Since we were crafted that way, then it is obvious that to not develop our talents and exercise them is, at best, not living up to our potential, and at worst – to use “churchy” vocabulary – living outside the will of God.

So this chapter offers an amazing affirmation to all creatives. With this, you would think we could just close the book and get on with our work.

No.

The chapter goes on to ask pointed questions about the obstacles to creativity. For me, namely, it’s other people and my own self. Okay, it’s mostly my own self, but I can go on and on about both me and them.

The author, however, is quick to point out that even though the Critics in our lives may be a hindrance, we will learn in future chapters how to stop blaming them and begin forgiving.

Forgiveness? Oy! I think I need to buy a lot more paper to journal on.

This first chapter opened with some verses from the Gospel of John: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made. Without Him nothing was made that has been made (John 1:1-3). This seems an appropriate verse in a discussion about the creative action of God and artists, so in response to this passage, I felt compelled to make this image:

"John One:One-Three" (Digital Painting)

ljgloyd (c) 2012

A Practice for Lent: The Creative Call

Today is the first day of Lent. I was casting about for something to do (or not to do) appropriate for the season. Since this period is supposed to be a time for self-reflection, I decided I would wed this season with my working through The Creative Call program.

The Creative Call: An Artist's Response to the Way of the Spirit is a book written by Joyce Elsheimer as an alternative to Cameron's The Artist's Way (TAW). TAW is a fantastic program, and I have employed it on several occassions to break through creative blocks and get my creating self moving again. However, the "source" or "higher self" referenced in TAW is ambiguous at best. The Creative Call is for those artists, writers, muscians, and other creatives who have a more focused view of that divine source for the creativity -- that is, God.

The Creative Call (CC) is less rigorous than TAW calling for a commitment of only eight weeks as well as only 20 minutes of journaling each morning. In addition, CC emphasizes prayer and scripture reading/memorization as part of the program of breaking through the hindrances to creative output. CC's main assertion, at least for me, is that God gives us our talents and urges us to develop and exercise them for His glory and our personal fulfillment in life. Given this, I thought working this program might be the perfect activity for Lent. The program most likely will flow past Easter, but somehow that seems right too.

My plan then is to read one chapter a week, do the prescribed exercises, and journal every day. At least once a week -- maybe more, maybe less -- I will write a short reflection piece here.

So, if you don't like hearing about God or Jesus, or are uncomfortable with scriptural quotations, then I understand completely if you don't want to follow along with these posts. However, part of my "recovery" as a creative person is not to hide from what I am and what I believe, and I will be writing about these things. I do hope you will come back and read and maybe even follow along.

Thank you.

The Gate Keeper, Ash Wednesday, 2012

ljgloyd

An Artist's Alchemy

This story was inspired by and has excerpted from the article Anatomy of Creativity at the Soul Food Cafe
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“This place is freezing,” Kendalyn muttered to herself. She pulled off her wet rain jacket and scarf as she marched across the living room of her small apartment.

“How could I have left this open?” A frigid wind blasted through the bottom of the window in her dining area. She quickly shut it and then fiddled with the thermostat next to her wall furnace. As the furnace kicked on, she grabbed a green flannel blanket draped over the back of her sofa. Wrapping it around herself, she yanked the first headpiece at hand from the wall hook next to the door-- a big floppy sun hat. She knew she looked ridiculous, but the blanket and hat would keep her warm until the apartment heated up.

She considered going to the Bellowing Cow Saloon, just down the block from her building. The manager usually had a fire going, but the thought of spending an evening with the miscreants and malcontents that hung out there just turned her stomach.

Kendalyn had started going to the pub a few months ago when she discovered that it was a place where a number of local artists gathered. She just wanted to be with some like-minded creatives to “talk shop” and generally have a good time. It was good at first, but over the months she found herself spending more and more time there instead of working in her studio. Even worse, the interactions with the artists had devolved from professional talk to nasty gossip and strife.

The kicker came just a few days ago when a business disagreement arose between one of the artists and the owners of the Scarlet Shrike gallery. A lot of foul language and accusations had been exchanged between them, and many of the other artists, including Kendalyn, were set upon as well for just being present and voicing an opinion on the behavior of the individuals.

Stung by the assault on her personal reputation by the individuals involved, Kendalyn left the Bellowing Cow that night and swore she would never set foot in there again. She would rather freeze in her apartment than go anywhere near that pub.

Just thinking about the last horrible encounter there made her queasy. She should have known better and not tried to be the voice of reason. She padded into the kitchen to get something to settle her stomach. As she poured some ginger ale into a glass, she heard a soft thud from her studio which was adjacent to the kitchen. She peered through the doorway of the studio and froze in alarm. The studio window was opened about six inches at the bottom, just like the window in the dining room.

Kendalyn knew she had shut and locked that window before she left for work that morning. Her eyes darted around the room looking for an intruder. There was no place anyone could hide in the cramped, small room and the closet was too full of boxes of art supplies to conceal a person.

Then her eyes settled on her work table. “What--?”

Situated in the center of the table among her brushes and tubes of paint was a small wooden box. She cautiously approached the table to get a better look. Then she saw the intricate carving on the lid of the box: a familiar crest of leaves and curlicues entwined around the letters, “S.R.”.

Kendalyn relaxed and smiled. S.R.: Sibyl Riversleigh. Artist, writer, global traveler, and Kendalyn’s friend. There was no point in wondering how the box came to be on her studio table. That was Sibyl’s way and Sibyl was, well, magical.

Kendalyn lifted the box’s lid. In it was an envelope inscribed with “Kendalyn J. Pelican” in Sibyl’s flourished handwriting. Underneath the envelope was a silver rectangular case nestled in the red velvet lining of the wooden box. Kendalyn slipped open the flap of the envelope and pulled out a letter.

“Kenda, darling,

Aren’t you the mess! What has happened to you, dear? You are not the woman I used to know. I think you need a little transforming and I have just the thing for you. I was in Venice this summer -- oh, you wouldn’t believe what happened to me there -- but that story is for another day -- Anyhow, I was in an antique shop near the Ponte di Rialto and found a book which I was told had belonged to an alchemist. There were oodles of formulae in it, but this one just stood out -- just for you, I knew. I want you to take these words to heart:

‘Carefully mix 300 pounds of daily writing; pray to the creative spirit under the moon; purify your house with the right amount of sage; add twenty five ounces of the divine; spend hours in silence; stir in a pinch of imagination; meditate upon a mandala; daydream a lot.’

Now open the silver case.

Hug, hug, kiss, kiss, and get off your arse, dear.

Love,

Sibyl

Kendalyn sat down at the table and read the letter again. Sybil had always been there with good advice. Kendalyn reflected on the last few months. It was more than just hanging out with the wrong crowd and not working. It was neglecting the inner world that fueled her work.

Kendalyn set aside the letter and opened the silver case. It was a mirror. Just an ordinary make-up kit compact mirror. She placed the open case on the table and sat back to consider it. Nothing happened. It was just her, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a goofy hat, looking back from the mirror. She began fingering one of the paint brushes on the table as she pondered the alchemist formula.

It was like a recipe, or a spell. No, it was more like a ritual or a liturgy. She realized then that whatever art she created lately, or words she wrote, were not coming from that sacred space within. They were mundane, or worse: mechanical and dull. There was no magic in her creations.

Kendalyn closed her eyes and looked inward for the muse that used to live there. Was the duende spirit still there? Or had she been totally abandoned.

“Um... hello? Are you there? Look, I know it’s been a while and I know I totally screwed up by not talking to you lately, but I’m wondering if you and I.... what I’m trying to say is that I need your help. I need to move back to that place... you know the place I’m talking about, right? That place where you and I click and really cool stuff happens. Well, anyway, I’m here if you want to talk to me.”

Kendalyn sat for a moment, waiting for... well, anything. Just as she was beginning to feel very silly about having a conversation with thin air, she heard a tinkling sound, like a strum of chimes. Her eyes flew open and she saw herself in the mirror with a trail of glittering stars swirling about her.

She smiled. Everything had suddenly changed.

ljgloyd © 2012

Art Journal: Weekend Spread, Do Not Fear Success

This weekend's spread is all ready to receive writing which I think will be white gelly roll on the left side. I don't want to put in any writing on the right, but I'll have to see how much room I need.

The first layer of the background was gesso over blue watercolor crayon followed by several layers of green and blue tissue, art papers, and a computer printout of the female figure. The image is embellished by glitter glue. (I don't fling glitter, I squirt it! :)

Creating the image was a project in itself. I found a vintage image of Mata Hari. I am not particularly interested in Mata Hari herself, but the image presented to me all sorts of possibilities in terms of manipulation and embellishment. It took about an hour to colorize the whole image in Photoshop, resulting in about a dozen layers to achieve the final effect.

So what is this spread about? A couple of weeks ago during a meditation time, the words "Do not fear success" popped into my mind. It was an interesting insight that made me consider that my lack of progress in certain areas of my life may not have anything to do with a fear of failure, but rather from a fear of being successful. This insight is something that I am going to have to give some considered thought.

I debated with myself as to whether I should rephrase the title of the spread into a positive affirmation such as "Welcome Success". But since those were not the words that came to me, I stuck with the original statement.


ljgloyd (c) 2012

Art Journal: Weekly Spread January 16 Onward

Here is my spread all ready for my multi-day journaling for this week. Nothing fancy: just gesso over watercolor crayons, then stampings, followed by a drawing. I will handwrite my entries in black Pitt pen.

ljgloyd (c) 2012

Mosiac Spread: It's All About the Journey

This is my full weekend spread for January 14 and 15 (awaiting text for the 15th). It employs the mosiac and "hidden" tab prompts from earlier this week. I created the background by laying down some white gesso, fushia acrylic paint and black gesso. The mosiac tiles are cut from a paper I made of light wash of the fushia paint rubbed over by a thin layer of copper metallic acrylic paint. The labyrinth is a computer print out. I embellished with glitter glue. At first I was hesitant about using too much glitter but then I thought "You can never use too much glitter!" Woo-hoo.

ljgloyd (c) 2012

Art Journal: First Week

Here is the front cover of the journal:

The journal itself is a 9 by 12 soft-bound sketchbook. I painted over the cover in cerulean blue, green and copper metallic acrylic paint. I pasted a photo that was taken in a low-light setting by a friend. The friend who took the picture was going to delete it since it was so blurry, but I just loved the effect and knew it would someday show up in a piece of art. Here it is. Finally, the text is stamping on a piece of blue tissue paper.



This image was created for my January 8 journal entry (January 7 also had a similar image). I just didn't know what to make as a focal point image so I just traced my hand and started doodling in it. I painted black gesso around it for contrast and wrote the text with a Sakura white gelly roll pen. A number of people in the Book of Days group have commented that they too have used the motif of the hand in this week's journaling. How synchronicitous is that?

I am working on my multi-day spread for this week. I want to incorporate a mosiac effect into what I have already started, but that may not work so well and I'll have to use the mosiac effect on my weekend spread.

What I find interesting about this project is that I have had the discipline to do it every day thus far, even if it is only a word or two. We'll see how long that lasts.

More to come.

ljgloyd (c) 2012

Pantry Improv: Huevos Rancheros

My huevos rancheros recipe is not really an improvisation, rather my interpretation of a classic, soul-soothing breakfast dish. My guess is that someone originally improvised this from food on hand in the pantry.

From the pantry:
vegetable oil
corn torilla
canned refried beans
salsa (or you can make fresh if you like)

From the fridge:
eggs
queso fresco or some other soft white cheese

Completely cover the bottom of a large skillet with the vegetable oil. Heat the oil until it starts to shimmer. Lay a corn tortilla in the oil for about two minutes or until it starts to get crispy. Carefully flip the tortilla and crisp the other side. Remove from the oil and drain on a paper towel. Fry one tortilla for every serving.

Spread a couple of tablespoons of refried beans on the tortilla.

In another skillet, fry an egg in a bit of oil, either sunnyside up or over easy. Scrambling doesn't work so well because you want a runny yolk in the finished dish. Place the fried egg on top of the beans and tortilla.

Spoon a bit of salsa and sprinkle a little cheese on top of all.

This breakfast dish is wonderful for lunch and dinner as well.

Click HERE to read about my personal pantry improv project.

ljgloyd (c) 2012

Watching Bread Rise: A Metaphor for Growth

This week I made bread from scratch. I'm a bit of a foody, if you haven't already figured that out, so the process of watching the bio-chemical replication of yeast is something that fascinates me. Yes, I know, I need to get a life, and that is indeed what I hope to do this year.

Bread-making is an appropriate picture of life growth. Yeast is a living creature -- Saccharomyces cerevisiae -- a one-celled critter that procreates like crazy if you give it enough sugar and warm water. When you combine these happy little yeastie-beasties with flour, salt, a lot of time and a little heat, you get bread.

I have an idea for a long-term life project. I have been tossing the idea around in my mind for several months, and now I want to nurture it with the hope it will rise like bread dough. The idea is the flour, the yeast is the planning, and the sugar and warm water is the research. Hopefully, the planning and research will make that idea rise up into reality. I don't expect achieving my goal will be easy. I expect a little heat along the way, but you need some heat to bake good bread.

I'm sorry to be so vague on the specifics of the project. I'm still in the planning stages, and, if you have ever made bread, you know that if conditions are not right, the bread dough won't rise. So I'm not going to say any more about it now in case things fall flat.

But to leave you with a little more than my ramblings, here is the recipe I used to make the gorgeous loaf of bread in the picture above:

Thoroughly mix together in a large crockery bowl:

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups all purpose white flour
1 teaspoon salt

In a separate bowl, combine:

1 package of dry active yeast
2 tablespoons of sugar
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons of warm water

About 10 minutes later, when the yeast is frothing on top of the water, add the liquid to the dry ingredients and thoroughly mix. Put a little flour on a bread board and dump out the dough on it. Vigorously knead the bread for about 5 minutes. (Great therapy). Return the dough to the crockery bowl and cover with a clean kitchen cloth. Put it someplace warm and leave it for about 3 hours.

After the dough has risen (it should double or even triple in size) add some more flour to the board, dump out the dough, and knead for another 5 minutes. Shape the dough into a ball and place it in a large cast iron skillet. Cover and let it rise for another hour. About 15 minutes before you plan to bake the bread, preheat the oven to 375 F. (about 220C). Uncover the skillet, put it in the oven and bake for about 25 minutes (or until the top is golden brown).

Prepare to swoon from the aroma.

ljgloyd (c) 2012